


i'm wide awake, it's morning

by moriphyte



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Drinking, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Implied/Referenced Eating Disorders, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mental Health Issues, Physical Abuse, Smoking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-06
Updated: 2017-03-11
Packaged: 2018-08-13 07:47:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7968394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moriphyte/pseuds/moriphyte
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The sun came up with no conclusion<br/>Flowers sleeping in their beds<br/>This city's cemetery's humming<br/>I'm wide awake, it's morning"<br/>-Bright Eyes- <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37r9aqTxhBQ">Road To Joy</a><br/><br/>It's 1am and there are no groceries in the house<br/>It's 1am and Lapis is at the grocery store with no shoes on<br/>It's 1am and nothing feels real</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1am

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a while ago and its not edited cause I'm lazy af but here it is, more humanstuck su focused on Lapis and Peridot. And yes, I did just use the 'stuck' stuffix out of the context of Homestuck, because everyone knows I can't love something if I don't somehow relate it to Homestuck.  
> I work at a grocery store and this is what it feels like during the closing shift.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis goes grocery shopping with no shoes on, Peridot plays computer games.

It's 1 in the morning, and you're really fucking tired after your closing shift at the cafe. There's no food in the apartment, except Peridots snack food stash, which you usually wouldn't mind considering you don't eat much when you’re not high lately, but Steven is going to need food for school tomorrow.

You wish you could afford to send him to a private school, like the one his friend Connie goes to, but you don't make enough money working full time at the coffee shop and lifeguarding at the local pool during the summer, which is barely enough to pay for food and rent, you yourself usually just forego the former. Peridot makes some money freelance computer coding but she doesn't help you out all that much because most of her money goes to video games and the classes she takes at the local community college. Jasper works nights as security at a the Diamond club downtown and it helps you cover rent. You don't like that she lives with you but you need the money if you want to stay in your apartment so you don't have much of a choice. You don't like that Steven has to be around her and selfishly you don't like that you have to be around her either, but it’s what you have to do for now. You've been talking with Pearl about moving Steven back in with her Amethyst and Garnet but as of now there's not enough room in their apartment and they themselves have been low on money since Rose died. Steven stays there as much as possible as one of them is usually home to be with him so he doesn't have to be alone, and also Jasper isn't there. 

You never leave him alone with her, even if you have to take him with you when you have work. Jasper has a temper, and you know for a fact that she's not above hurting Steven, the few bruises and one black eye that haunt your sleep are enough to prove that. You're only out now because you know that Peridot is there. She may be a bratty pain in the ass, she's the youngest of you, only eighteen, but if there's one thing she cares about besides video games, it's Steven.

You walk quickly down the street, your bare feet cold on the dirty concrete. Pearl is always telling you that you need to wear shoes but you ignore her. Of course you do wear them when you have to but you never liked shoes, and you don't like being told what to do either. You've spent too much of your life being controlled 

As you walk down the empty sidewalk you watch the people around you out of the corner of your eyes. You've gotten good at that, watching people. They're mostly drunks smoking outside the bar down the street and yelling obnoxiously to each other but you still keep your distance. 

When you reach the Stop & Shop you adjust your bag on your shoulder and walk through the sliding doors. Under the flickering fluorescent lights everything looks unreal. The grocery store is vacant and you grab a basket from beside one of the check out stations.

You walk farther into the store, looking over the shelves of food for what you need. You grab a carton of milk and some sugary cereal for Steven's breakfast. You also get pancake mix and some frozen sausage and eggs, along with some bread, peanut butter and jelly, and some of the gummies that Steven likes for his lunch.

On your way out you stop at the ice cream freezer and stare in through the smudged glass. You open the door and are hit with a wave of cold air that makes you shiver as you lean down, bracing one hand against your skinny bare knees and the other on the door handle. You scan the rows of off brand ice cream until you find the one you're looking for, cat shaped ice cream sandwiches called Cookie Cats. You grab a box off the shelf and drop it into the basket. They're kind of expensive but Steven loves them.

You head up to the only open register and check out in silence. When you walk back out through the sliding doors you check your phone for the time and it shows you that it's 1:15 am. You have some time to sit outside before Jasper gets up to go to work so you walk down the street to the alley behind the bar and drop your cheap plastic bags of food to the ground. You dig a cigarette out of your bag and slide to the ground, pressing a cheap blue plastic lighter you got from the gas station to the end until it lights. 

You take a drag and let the smoke out, watching it curl and disappear into the air. You never actually inhale the smoke, just in and out. It's the action that calms you, not the drug. When your cigarette is burnt to the filter you toss it to the ground and push yourself up.

Your walk home is silent except for the sound of your bare feet hitting the pavement and the rustling of the plastic bags of groceries in your hands. When you reach your apartment building you walk up the dirty carpeted steps and down the hallway to your door. You dig your key out of your bag and turn it in the lock, pushing through the door and closing it behind you with your hip.

Inside everything is dark except for a dim light coming from one of the rooms down the hallway. You set the groceries on the counter, not bothering to put any of them in the fridge since its so cold in the apartment, and walk down the hallway. 

You stop at the small bedroom where the light is coming from and walk in without knocking. Peridot sits with her face close to her computer, muttering and cursing under her breath. There's quiet, unintelligible noises coming from a pair of headphones that are pressed down over her pale blond hair and she's using one hand to control the mouse while the other digs into a bag of knock off Doritos that you know for a fact are stale.

You walk over and pull the headphones off her ears. She jumps and glares up at you, "what the hell, I was in the middle of a quest."

"Well pause it" you say.

She glares at you through her big round glasses but pauses the game before turning back to look at you. "What do you want?"

"I wanted to make sure Steven was okay."

"Yeah, he's asleep in his room, why?"

"You know why."

She groans and rolls her eyes, "would you stop being so paranoid, Jaspers not going to do anything."

"You don't know that."

"Look" she says, turning her computer chair so that she faces you, "I know you don't like her, I don't blame you, but she's not going to do anything to him, honestly I doubt she cares enough to."

You sigh and drop down on her bed. Something pokes you in the leg and you move to the side to see a power strip full of cords under the green alien sheets.

"Don't touch that, my whole system is connected to that" Peridot says, grabbing it and pushing it to the other side of the bed.

You settle back on the bed and run a hand through your dark blue hair, sighing. "I'm so tired" you say, looking down at where your bare feet sit on the dirty carpet.

"Then sleep" Peridot says, like it's that easy.

You laugh and shake your head, "I'd love to."

"Whatever, I don't get why you don't just sleep during the day" Peridot says.

"Because I have work at the pool" you reply.

"Well then quit"

You laugh again, this one almost genuine, "yeah, I'll just do that, and we can get kicked out of this place for defaulting on rent."

"Look, you need to stop stressing so much and get some sleep" Peridot says.

"Says the girl who freaks out when I touch anything on your side of the room"

"My job is complicated, if one thing goes wrong the whole project could be compromised" she says defensively

"Whatever, I'm going to bed" you say, standing and crossing to your side of the room

You pull off your skirt and change into an oversized t-shirt, dropping down in bed and curling up under the blanket.

"Can you turn the volume down?" you ask.

"No, I need to hear what the other players are saying."

You roll your eyes and roll over so your back is facing her, "whatever, goodnight."

She doesn't respond, already back to playing her game

You close your eyes and to the distant sound of Peridot's game you fall asleep for the first time in days.

 


	2. 8am

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's 6 O'Clock and Lapis just wants to sleep

"Lapis"

"Lapis!"

"Laaapppiiisss!"

You groan and open your eyes, turning to look at the small blurry shape standing at the side of your bed

You immediately smile, "morning Steven"

"Morning! Come on get up I'm making breakfast!"

You laugh and sit up in bed, rubbing your tired eyes and running a hand through your unwashed hair, "I'm only coming if there's pancakes"

"There are pancakes!"

You giggle and push yourself up out of bed, yawning and stretching your arms above your head

Steven grabs your hand and drags you into the kitchen which is an absolute mess. Peridot sits at the dinky little kitchen table typing away on her phone while Steven runs to the stove behind her

You pinch the bridge of your small, pointy nose and look down, "you couldn't have like, tried to do anything about this?" you ask

"Hmm?" Peridot says, looking up from her phone

"I  _said_ , you couldn't have done something about this, or maybe, I don't know, woken me up so I could?" you say, spreading your arms to the disaster of a kitchen around you

Peridot shrugs, "I tried, you wouldn't wake up, I distinctly remember you telling me to 'go fuck myself with my ps2 controller' and hitting me with your stupid stuffed dragon

"Okay one, Inspector Berrybreath is not stupid, and two, why didn't you just say it was about Steven you know that would have woken me up"

Peridot shrugs, "nothing was going to wake you up Lazuli and you know it"

"Well you could have at least tried" you say, "so seriously though, how did you not throw a fit over this?" you ask, again gesturing to the kitchen 

"I did, but you know Steven" she says, glancing over at where he stands at the counter singing and making heart shaped pancakes, she turns back to you, "he always gets me caught up in his stupid shit"

"Also you can't say no to him" you say, smiling at her

She glares at you, "yes I can!  _You're_  the one that can never say no to him, he just doesn't listen to me!"

You shrug, "maybe you should try actually talking to him instead of throwing a fit, you claim to be such a logical person but your approach to stressful situations is to basically throw a tantrum" you say

She narrows her green eyes at you, "okay one, fuck you, two, this is coming from the person who laughs at fart jokes with a fourteen year old and three, I'm only eighteen, I'm allowed to be immature" she says

"What and I'm not? I'm only nineteen"

"Whatever, I'm the most responsible one in this fucking shit show we call a 'family' and you know it"

You raise your eyebrows at her, "okay that is so untrue its not even funny but think what you want, also" you cross your arms over your small chest, "Jasper is  _not_  part of this 'family"

"Oh would you cool it with the Jasper shit, I told you, she's not gonna do anything, she really doesn't give enough of a shit to waste her time"

You glare at the ground, "she has plenty of time to push me around"

"Yeah well thats you, she feeds off your passive aggressive ass, you make it easy for her"

You glare at her, "not I don't! I defend myself"

She snickers, "yeah and you do a shitty job"

"No I don't!"

"Running off and spending the night outside isn't defending yourself"

You deflate and drop your hands to your sides. She's right, not that you're going to admit that

"I defend Steven" you mutter quietly

"Yeah, you do, and you're pretty fucking aggressive about it, I have to give you that" she says 

You open your mouth to reply but Steven interrupts you, "hey Lapis, Peridot, breakfast is ready!"

You both turn to the table where Steven has set up three plates, one for each of you. You and Peridot glance at each other and then back at his smiling face and smile back. Like Peridot said, you can't say no to him

You all take a seat at the table and Steven starts stuffing his face and talking about the new episodes of Crying Breakfast Friends. This of course gets Peridot into talking about Camp Pining Hearts. She rambles on about Percy and Pier and Paulette and all the subtext of their relationships and you and Steven just nod, holding back smiles as she talks loudly and gestures with her hands. By the tiek most of the pancakes are finished Steven is rushing off to get ready for school, glad to have an excuse not to have to listen to Peridot talk about her anymore, you on the other hand are stuck. You don't really mind it, it makes her happy and its fun to see her get so excited over something, also you like to mess with her by deconstructing her theories on her favorite slash pairing in favor of the canon relationship. 

You get Steven off to school and start cleaning up the kitchen. Peridot helps, which is nice, she really does try. She's a paradox of a person, so organized and logical in her life and yet a literal fucking mess when it comes to everything else. Her side of the room is somehow even messier than yours, covered in tangles of cords and old computer parts she found, but of course she never has any problem throwing a fit when something of yours ends up on her side. You've learned not to point out that she's even worse than you, it just makes her more upset and the more upset she is the more yelling you have to hear.

When you've finished the dishes Peridot goes to your room to play Mojo on the ps2 and you curl up on the old couch with a cup of coffee that is basically just caffeinated milk

You sit on the couch with a book, some manga that Amethyst lent you, and watch reruns of America's Next Top Model until you hear someone at the door. Before you can even turn around the door is slammed open, hitting the wall in it's already existent dent in the dry wall

Jasper stands in the doorway, a tall, muscular girl with wild white hair and skin like unmixed milk and coffee, dark some places light others. She doesn't acknowledge you and instead stomps into the kitchen and yanks the door of the refrigerator open. You watch her as she bends down to look into the refrigerator. After scanning the contents she grunts and stands up, turning to you

"Didn't you go shopping?" she demands 

"Yeah, I went last night" you say, keeping your voice emotionless 

"Well there's no fucking food" 

"I just told you, I went shopping last night" you say

"Yeah well you did a shitty fucking job" she spits 

You glare at her but keep your mouth shut, its a lot easier to just let her bitch. At least most of her anger is directed towards you. It helps you some to know that at least that takes away from any anger she could direct at Steven or Peridot

"Fuck you're useless" She says, slamming the door of the refrigerator shut causing the whole thing to shake 

You flinch and hunch over, glaring at the tv, "maybe you should do it yourself then" you mutter 

She spins on you, "what?"

You turn to her, deciding that you would rather take her anger than have to hear anymore of her shit, "I said, maybe if you don't like how I do it you should go grocery shopping yourself"

Her orange eyes narrow and she crosses the room in three long strides. She stands over you glaring down, her large hands in fists. You don't react, you're used to it, besides, she wants you to react, and you're not going to give her the satisfaction

"Shut up, brat" she warns 

You roll your eyes at her, "make me"

She growls and grabs you, yanking you roughly to your feet by the wrist and shoving you towards the kitchen

Your bare feet slip on the dirty linoleum of the kitchen floor and you hit the floor hard, smacking your cheek on the kitchen table 

"What the fuck!?" you yell, rubbing your cheek and glaring up at her from your place on the floor

"Oh stop being such a brat and go get some more food" she says 

"You go" you spit 

She growls in annoyance, "you really are a useless little brat, aren't you? Too stupid to get groceries" 

You glare at the ground and instead of answering push yourself to your feet

"Whatever, I'm not going, if you want food you can do it yourself" you say, shouldering passed to her and walking into your room

You slam the door behind you and lock it, closing your eyes, biting your lip and clenching your fists 

"Jasper back?" Peridot asks without turning away from her computer 

"Yes" you say through clenched teeth, going to sit on your bed

"You two are so loud, the other players can hear you through my headphones"

You roll your eyes and fall back on your bed with your arms spread, "whatever" 

You hear the door open again and sit up, suddenly shaking. You look over at Peridot, eyes wide and she looks back, eyes just as wide

"I'm hooooome" Steven calls from the living room 

You jump to your feet and run to the door, unlocking it and yanking it open

You run out into the living room and your stomach settles in relief when you see Steven sitting on the couch with his backpack on the floor, "hey Lapis" he says, smiling at you

You smile at him and glance around, there's no sign of Jasper but her door is closed so you assume she's in there

"How was school?" you ask, trying to keep the relief from your voice 

He smiles and pulls his backpack into his lap, "its was great!" He goes on about his day and you happily listen while channel surfing cartoons. You end up ordering take out pizza because Steven's extravagant breakfast did actually use up most of your food.  Jasper comes out of her room to grumble and slam cabinets but she doesn't bother you and you feel more at ease with Steven close to you.

By the time Steven goes to bed you're tired enough that you may actually get some sleep but of course you're wrong. Peridot falls asleep at her computer at 1am and you lay awake in bed, still unable to sleep. Eventually you give up on sleep and leave the apartment to walk around, it always clears your mind. You end up at a bar blocks from your apartment, sitting in a corner booth drinking something that tastes like gasoline but hey, it was cheap. You listen to the noise of the people talking around you and eventually you end up dozing off in the booth.

You're woken up hours later by a tall, pale boy with white hair. "Hey, you okay dude?" You rub your eyes and push yourself up, staring up at the blurry boy standing in front of you. "Uh, yeah, I'm fine" you say, rubbing your eyes again until he comes into focus. He looks a little younger than you, maybe sixteen or seventeen, and he's dressed in baggy cargo pants and a big blue sweatshirt with a pair of obnoxiously big headphones around his neck

"Hey Sour Cream!" Someone calls and he turns to look back at the crowded bar. A small, curvy girl with dark skin and an afro pushes her way out of the crowd followed by a latino boy who is somehow wearing shades in the dim bar. "Yo Jenny, Buck!" he calls, waving a hand 

"Who's this?" the girl asks, coming to stand beside the boy, who must be Sour Cream. "Dunno, just some chic who was sleepin in this booth, wanted to make sure she was like, okay"

The girl, Jenny, turns to you and looks down at you with dark brown eyes, "you okay girl?" 

You nod, "I'm fine, just tired" 

"You got anywhere to sleep?" Sour Cream asks 

"I don't really know where I am actually, I walked here from my apartment" you admit

"Without any shoes?" Jenny asks, looking down at your dirty bare feet

"Uh, yeah, I don't really wear shoes" you say

"Dude" you look up in surprise at the boy in the shades, Buck, "that's hardcore"

"Totally" Jenny agrees, "whats your name anyway?"

"Lapis" you say

"Well" Jenny says, giving you a big smile, "I'm Jenny" she gestures to herself, "and this is Buck and Sour Cream" she gestures to the two boys 

"Yo" Sour cream says and Buck just nods 

"You need a place to crash Lapis?" Jenny asks

You look down and bite your lip, you don't even know these kids but they seem cool, "um, thanks but you don't have to do that"

"Girl we wanna, come on, you look like you're havin a tough time, come chill with us" Jenny says 

You look around and then back up at her with a small smile, "that would be great"

The three kids grin and you suddenly question if this is a good decision

You end up at a shitty little apartment down the street from the bar. The apartment is littered with food, dirty clothes and video games and shoved in the corner is what looks like a set of turn tables set on concrete blocks

"Welcome to the cool kids place" Jenny says, smiling at you, "you can sleep in my room, Sour Cream and Buck share a room"

You nod, "thanks again"

"No problem girl, we gottchu" she says, slapping you on the back

You smile and say goodnight to Buck and Sour Cream, following Jenny to her room 

She jumps on her bed and kicks off her shoes, "this bed has a pull out, you can sleep there"

"Thank you" you say again, bending down and pulling out the bed

Jenny gets changed and you curl up on the bed wrapped in a blanket still wearing your clothes

You drift off and for the first time in weeks you actually sleep without having any nightmares. 

 


	3. 11am

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sitting in the cafe at work feeling like I'm about to cry so here's an upd8 to this fic that's just me venting

You wake up on the dirty floor of an unfamiliar mess of a bedroom with the sound of music mixing coming from another room.   
You rub your eyes and push yourself up off the floor to see that you're still in your clothes from yesterday. A skirt and oversized band shirt and by the fact that your feet are bare and dirty, no shoes.   
You sigh, running a hand through your blue hair and wrinkling your nose. You can't remember how many days it's been since you showered, probably too many. Your hand brushes your forehead and you feel a dull pain, you're guessing that the hit to the head you got yesterday bruised, which is annoying. Now you'll have to explain it to coworkers. You really wish people would just mind their own fucking business sometimes.   
You don't have work today and Steven is going to be staying over at Garnet Amethyst and Pearl's so you might actually have some time to yourself. Of course Peridot is most likely there but she's always there, sitting in that desk chair on front of her computer. The only other place she could be is class but you know that ended for the summer about three weeks ago. Knowing her over achieving little ass she's probably taking summer classes too. You don't know Jasper's work schedule but you know she only works nights so you hope that wherever she is it's not the apartment.   
You get up off the floor, stretching your arms above your head. You've noticed how thin they're getting, bones protruding sharply from your skin, and though you hide the cuts that cover your arms you can still feel them when you move, a dull, distant pain, like the emptiness in your stomach.   
You know you should eat but really you're just not hungry, you always feel vaguely sick and the idea of food just makes you sicker. You only really eat when the side effects of starving get to be too much. The pain in your stomach, the too fast beat of your heart, the way your hands shake no matter how hard you try to make them stop and the way your legs burn with pain just from walking up the stairs. To you it's all just annoying, at this point you're used to suffering.   
You pad over to the bedroom door and crack it open, looking out into the small space that serves as both a living room and a kitchen. At first glance it looks empty but when your eyes land on the far corner of the room you see the white haired boy from last night sat in front of a pair of turntables set up on cement blocks.  
He has his eyes closed as he moves his head to the beats, one hand on the turn tables the other on his headphones. You don't want to bother him so you find a piece of paper in the kitchen, leave a quick thank you note, and slip out the front door.   
It's hot outside as you try to figure out just where the hell you are. You're close to the bar you were at last night but you don't know how far that is from your apartment. You just start walking.   
It takes you half an hour to find your way back to the apartment and by the time you get to the stairs your head is spinning. You really should eat something.   
You climb the stairs slowly, trying to ignore the burning pain in your legs. When you reach your floor you find your door and reach for your key when you realize you didn't take it  
Fuck   
You sigh and knock, hoping Peridot doesn't have her headphones on so she can hear you   
When there's no response you knock again, more forcefully this time.   
"Peridot!" You call, "I forgot my keys, let me in!"   
You're so focused on knocking that when the door suddenly opens inward you pitch forward and right into the person who opened the door  
When you find your feet again you look up and your stomach twists   
Jasper stands in the door, glaring down you with sharp amber eyes "what the fuck are you knocking so loud for? You woke me up" she says  
"I forgot my keys" you say  
She rolls her eyes and shakes her head, "you really are a stupid little bitch aren't you"   
You cross your arms over your chest and glare at the ground, you're not going to give her the satisfaction of an answer   
"Whatever, I'm not dealing with you today" she says, stepping back and leaving the door open   
You slip inside the apartment and cross to the kitchen. You just have to get something to eat so you don't pass out and then you can lock yourself in the safety of your room until Jasper goes to work.   
"Oh look at that she's actually eating, it's a fucking miracle" Jasper says from behind you   
You stiffen but ignore her and continue looking for something to eat   
"You're gonna die if you keep doing this, you know that right?" She says   
You bite your lip to keep from snapping back at her to mind her own business and grab a banana, turning on your heel to go to your room but she stands in your way.   
"Move, brat" she says, taking your arm and shoving you aside. You stumble but keep on your feet and straighten up, glaring at the dirty kitchen floor.   
"That's all you're eating?" she asks, looking at the unripe banana in your hand   
You shrug, not looking at her   
She scoffs and shakes her head, "you're trying to kill yourself, aren't you"   
You curl your small hands into fists and glare at the ground, "no"   
"Oh really? Then why don't you eat?" She asks  
"I'm not hungry" you say   
"That's such bullshit" she says   
"Why do you care anyway?" You ask, glaring up at her   
"I don't, I just figured since you're too stupid to do it yourself I would tell you to fucking eat something" she says   
"Yeah well you told me, you can fuck off now" you say   
She raises her eyebrows at you, "what did you just say to me?"   
You keep your eyes down, hugging yourself tighter   
"I SAID what the fuck did you just say to me?" She demands and you flinch   
"Not gonna answer me huh? Suddenly you can't open that big fucking mouth?" She asks, shoving your shoulder   
You keep your eyes down, "leave me alone"   
She laughs, "'leave me alone', she says, oh please, always playing the victim, we both know you're the one who's really terrible"   
"Stop" you say but she's talking over you now   
"You think I'm just so awful don't you? The big bag brute who pushes around poor little Lapis? And you're so good right? Always acting all scared, like I'M the mean one, we both know that's bullshit. You're even worse than me"   
"Stop it" you say   
"Admit it Lapis, you make me the bad one when really it's you" she says, jabbing her finger into your shoulder   
You flinch away from her and she laughs, "like that! Stop flinching, what you think gonna hurt you? Huh? she says, shoving you again, "you gonna answer me or are you just gonna stand there looking all sad?" she shoves you again, "are you too scared to talk back now? Afraid I'm gonna hurt you? Big bad Jasper is gonna hurt poor little Lapis? Give me a fucking break, If I wanted to hurt you I would have done it a long time ago" she says, shoving you again   
You're shaking now, your hands in small fists.  
"You're not worth my fucking time" she spits, shoving you hard   
You stumble back, almost loosing your balance.   
You break  
"Shut up!" You yell, bringing back your small fist and hitting her as hard as you can   
Pain shoots up your arm and you stumble back looking at it and then up at her  
She rubs the side of her face and looks down at you, all mocking gone, "oh you're gonna regret that"  
Your eyes widen and you turn away from her, taking off out of the kitchen   
You hear her coming after you and you scramble to open the first door you come to. You slam it behind you and just manage to turn the lock with your shaking hands when she slams her fist into the door making you jump.   
"Oh now you're gonna run away, huh? Always running away! Come out here and face me, I'll give you something to be scared of!"   
You take a step back from the door and your back hits something solid. You look behind you and see that you're pressed against a wall, you must be in the closet. You look up at the door in front of you shaking on its hinges  
"Open the fucking door you little brat!" She screams, slamming her fist against the door again sending a crack of light through the cheap wood of the door   
You drop to the floor and squeeze your eyes shut, curling in on yourself and covering your ears as she screams at you.   
You don't know how long you sit like that, hoping she doesn't break down the door, but when the pounding finally stops you open your eyes and look up at the door   
"You know what?" She says from behind the door, "you're not worth my fucking time"   
With one last kick that makes you flinch and press back against the wall you see her feet turn and walk off and then you're left alone.   
You sit in that dark closet, trying to stop yourself from shaking as tears start to build in your eyes.   
She's right about you, you really are terrible.   
Because if anyone knows you it's her, and if anyone knows her it's you.

 

  



End file.
